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Friday, January 14, 2011

Day 5

10:00 AM

Record breaking day...  After today I will have something to be proud of.  This will mark the longest time I was able to overcome my cravings in last few years.  Also, after my class today, this will be the longest Yoga streak ever in my life.  I have never taken 5 classes in a row, without a break.  So, yes I know, being proud is a false thing and one should not cherish it, but I will allow myself to feel good, and be proud, about it.  At least for 10 minutes... Ok maybe a little longer...  I still have little battles with my mind, but I have to say that they are less frequent.  Equal in strength, but less frequent.  Still winning, with a smile on my face.  Of course, I am still waiting for the grand battle that my mind is preparing.  What if that battle never comes?  What if this is it, bunch of small battles?  Could it be that easy, and we just make it harder than it actually is? I sure hope so, but I doubt it....

2:00 AM

Great class.  This time I had great energy before and during class.  Really easing through all the postures, connecting with my breath more than usual.  Good feeling.  Now drop it, and get back to reality.... Lose the good feeling just like you need to lose the bad feeling, if you ever have one.  After all its just a feeling....
Fantastic story I heard today during class.  One of the best stories I have heard in a while:
      "A man was trying to learn how to meditate.  So he got the instructions on how to meditate from his teacher and went home to practice.  One day he would meditate and the cars would be driving by...  So the noise distracted him...  Second day he would meditate again, and this time the birds were singing....  He got distracted again...  So he went back to his teacher and told him about his troubles.  And the teacher said to him : ARE YOU LETTING THEM INSIDE AND THEY BOTHER YOU, OR YOU ARE GOING OUTSIDE BOTHERING THEM......."
What a great story....  No need for explanation...  Just pure inspiration....

11:00 AM

Another day gone by...  After each day I can feel that I am closer to my source.  Source where everything comes from.  Source where the answers and questions are.  I am nowhere near that source right now, I might never be, but I am closer than I was last Friday.  I know that much...
One should always live a life that is close to the source.  Always try to remind yourself of it.  Hang out with mindful people, read books, do yoga, meditate, spend time at a temple, church, pray, whatever you are into, but just make sure that you are not far away from your true source.  Eventually it will become a part of who you are and it will be a natural thing for you to live from the source.  It, actually, is natural to live that way, all of us just live "unnatural"...  We would meet a person who meditates every day, goes to the temple, does yoga,   lives mindfully, and we would say " that guy/girl is crazy.  What is he/she doing all that for?  Why can't she/he just be normal like the rest of us?" The sad fact is that 99% of people truly believes that the way we live our life is the right way.  The normal way.  The only way.  And then we would all say:" Well, life is hard.  Lots of ups and downs.  Life is a bitch...."  No its not.  There is nothing bad or hard about it.  There is nothing extraordinary about it, either.  Its just life.... And if one can see it as just life, nothing hard or even great, then, and only then, the life will become extraordinary.... Then even going to the bathroom will be extraordinary...

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