Monday, January 17, 2011

Day 8

10:00 AM

I am in my second week now.  So far its been relatively easy, easier than I thought it would be. Slowly I can taste the change in myself and in the life itself.  Real small change, though...  Just a slight shift in attitude, attention and way of life.  Still miles away from where it should be.  Where it needs to be.  Of course, one has no clue about where it should and needs to be.  But that is a good thing...  My cravings are at the minimum now.  I still have them but they lack any real power.  After all these little battles, I am confident to say that this big battle is mine.... Me 1 - My Mind 0... If you want to talk about good feeling there is one for you.  The best one.  At least for me.  To be able to saddle your mind and ride it where you want to, and use it however you want to...  Thats a good feeling, and I will cherish, it because moments like this are extremely rare.  Usually its the mind that rides us, we want it or not....

2:00 PM

Here it is...  The big battle...  As soon as I wrote today that I won one big battle, the mind comes back with one last effort.  Of course, something happened on the outside in my life, and the mind uses it to get his advantage back.  Now my cravings are through the roof.  Its like a fire alarm inside my head.  Amazing how powerful the mind is, never gives up...  Millions of thoughts why i have to do that and not this.  I had those same thoughts before, but now they are like a hurricane.  Blowing my head off from the inside. I just knew this was going to happen.  The only reason why it didn't happen before, is because there was no stress in my life.  So as soon as the situation came up, here comes the cavalry.  Full force.  Now we are battling, all those things before were just a warm up. The big finale is now....  Who will be in control...?

11:00 PM

Went to a late yoga class today.  I always have a better class when I go in the evening.  In the morning I am less flexible and my energy levels are lower, but in the evening, everything is on the higher level.  So it was a really good class today.  A very interesting teacher too, very energetic, with a specific voice. Like I said before, I never thought that someone can really give you energy.  And this teacher, also, doesn't give energy with his attitude, or things he says, or things he does. Its just the color of his voice that lifted me up. It doesn't matter what was he talking about, just the color of his voice, the power behind it. Like you can really feel it in your chest when he uses that deep, deep voice.  Amazing stuff really, its hard to explain but for those who get a chance to experience it they will know what I am talking about...
Oh yeah, in case you were wondering...  You know the battle... The big battle...  Well I won... Fare and square...  Now I can sleep as a winner...

No comments:

Post a Comment