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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Day 31

10:00 AM

I set a record this morning. You know, my waking up challenge... The only thing is that the record is for the latest natural wake up time. It was like 9.30 when I woke up. The morning before I was up at 7.20, but not today. Don't really know why, I did go to sleep late, then again I went to sleep even later before. I guess I can blame it on the body.
When you think about it, why does it matter what time do you wake up. I mean time is an illusion anyway, so what difference does it make if you wake up at 7 or at noon...?  I don't really buy into that whole myth that if you wake up early you are a hard working person, and if you wake up late you are lazy. Somehow it does matter, though... I don't know if it is in the mind, but personally I feel more energized, more productive, when I start my day early. Waking up early, one has a change to enjoy the day before it really starts. Being awake when most of the world is sleeping was always a powerful feeling for me. It is also another challenge for the penthouse tenant, because he loves to sleep in. Loves to be lazy, to drag around, to waste time...
Waking up in the morning you can get things done. As the day starts to roll over, you have to do this, have to do that, go here, go there. It really doesn't give you a lot of time to get your things done. To work on yourself, to breathe and just be in the moment. Early mornings are a perfect setting for the self improvement. Slowly, slowly I am getting there... Except this morning...

2:00 PM

My friend left a comment here today asking what changes do I notice within myself since I have started the journey. Very good question. She always asks good questions...
I haven't really thought about it, but one thing is for sure. My ability to sit back, calm down, and rationalize, before making a step is on a higher level. Of course, I still get angry, upset, my mind holds inner dialog as usual, but my reaction is not the same. I am able to see into it before it takes control over me, and make me react. I am able to sit back for a moment, look at the inner dialog from the side, and then rationally make a decision. I wouldn't call it calmer, just more aware of the fact that it is the inner mind voice, and that it might not be true. Aware of the fact that the inner voice, anger, stress, need to be analyzed before responding, or making a step. Not really analyzed, but just looked at... To become an observer of the self, and the process that goes on within. Bring that light of the awareness, see the true nature of your inner dialog, anger, and then make a decision...
The second change is the "me, my,  mine..." thing. It is not so powerful. Its still there, but its not as strong as it used to be. My way of doing things... If he or she is not doing it my way, they are wrong. Why is my way correct...? My what....? We don't really know who we are, but we stand by this "my" as if our life depends on it. My house.... My husband/wife... My boyfriend/girlfriend... My...They are not mine. I love them, and take care of them, but they are not mine. They are just, "they"... No attachment... No suffering. You still care and love fully, but you are not attached. You love a person, but you don't need them. If they leave, they leave. Everything comes and goes, people and places, emotions, love... If you put them all into "MY" basket, suffering is inevitable... They are not yours, there is no your way... There is no you....
I am a mile away from this experience, of course, but I have made some baby steps towards it... So what else is there to do than celebrate the progress...

11:00 PM

One full month of yoga classes... Every single day... I really get the full benefits of my unlimited membership at the yoga studio. That is really something. The fact that I have 69 days left makes it nothing, but it is something... I don't even have thoughts about it. It is strange. I never think about it. I just go to class, no checking... So what have you been doing for the past month... Nothing, going to yoga... You...?

2 comments:

  1. This one is my favourite, I think, because it digs deep. I came across this quote in my readings the other night:

    Mastery of yoga is really measured by how it influences our day-to-day living, how it enhances our relationships, how it promotes clarity and peace of mind. – T.K.V. Desikachar

    What have I been doing? Helping kick off the new Pranalife studio, teaching a few times a week, practicing yoga daily both on and off the mat...and oh ya, life hit too. Moved, settled into a new house, school, that kind of stuff. I'm preparing for my own 30-day yoga journey starting Feb. 14th, and I'll be blogging. Namaste!

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  2. By "This one is my favourite, I think, because it digs deep", I meant the blog. In case that wasn't clear. :)

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