Day 44

10:00 AM

People, do Yoga!!! Don't ask why, is it for you, what are the benefits, just do it.  As often as you can, do it... Forget the heat, forget your body being stiff, your mind screaming in your head, forget that you look like a total idiot, and keep going to class. You will feel minor changes that have huge benefits. Yes, you will have better energy, more focus, feel good, be more grounded... All that is guaranteed. However,that's not the feeling I have in mind though... The feeling I want to emphasise is hard to explain in words. Its that feeling that all of us felt at some point, but we have no explanation for it...
I had one today... I finished my class, and walked out of the studio, going to my car. It was freezing, but sunny outside. As I stepped out on the street, I felt overwhelmed... All you can do at this point is inhale and exhale... I felt like taking a sprint down the street for no reason. The sun, the cold, fatigue all felt the same... They all felt like a big exhale...

2:00 PM

Rome wasn't build in one day... Everything takes time and patience. Patience is probably the most important thing in life. Regardless of what your goal is, you have to work towards it, believe in the final result and have patience. Yoga and spiritual practice are primary examples of how crucial it is to be patient. You go to class every day, meditate every day, and most of the time you feel like you are not making any progress. Its like you are jumping in place. The progress is soooo slow... At times you will feel that you are different, your energy, attitude, speech, thinking, its all on a different level. You feel that you are connecting with your true self a little bit, getting closer, every breath. Then, something happens. An incident so strong that your reaction is nothing like your new self. It is even worse than the old self. So disappointing... Just when we thought that we were getting somewhere, we are back at the starting line. All of the sudden, we feel like we didn't improve at all. We feel like it was all one big lie inside our head. Defeated.... What do we do now....?
Again, this very thing that destroyed all your improvement, is exactly what you need to improve even more. You didn't go back at the starting line. You are still at the same spot, on the path, you just fell off the horse. What happened is a lesson... Lesson we had to learn the hard way in order to move forward. A lesson that will be one of the most valuable ones on your path. It doesn't look like it, but you are making progress every day you live mindfully. You can't see it now, but one day you will be able to turn around and see all of it. You will be able to see yourself way back on the starting line, and yourself now on the path... The events that happened during your journey will not be visible. All you will be able to see are big "L" signs on the side of the road. Lesson's that got you forward, lesson's that molded you...
What do we do now...? Get up, dust yourself off, learn the lesson, and get back on the horse... And just continue to ride...

11:00 PM

My 44th class... Days are going by... So am I...