Day 49

10:00 AM

Have you reached the bottom...? Do you feel, or have you ever felt like your life can't get any worse...? If so, consider yourself extremely lucky, remember and love that moment. It happens to all of us at some point. It has to happen, you need it to happen. Don't hope and pray that you never reach that point in your life, hope and pray that you do. You absolutely need it in order to make your life perfect.
When you find yourself staring at the wall, tears in your eyes, emotionally deflated, having no clue what to do next, this is the moment... This is your birthday, not the actual one when you came out of your mother's womb. This is the moment that will define you, the moment that will either mould you into a true being or kill you...
You are at the bottom... Everything has collapsed on your head. Everything... You can't go any lower. Can't go any lower...? Great!!! There is a good thing in all of this, you realized that you can't go any lower. The only way is up... Going up is always positive, so all the negative will stay down at the bottom behind you. During that "bottom" moment, you will feel terrible. However, when you look back that same "bottom" moment will feel great. The darkest time in your life will be the best time of your life. You will remember it with a smile on your face, you will look back at those times as the new beginnings... It will be your birthday, party time....
All you have to do is get up, wipe your face, look inside yourself and go... Begin and never look back... The way will show itself for you, all you have to do is get up and look ahead...

2:00 PM

Once you get it together, and quit feeling sorry for yourself, the transformation begins. At first, it will feel like you are forcing yourself to do it. Like your forcing yourself to feel good, and to pursue new things. Just stick with it, this is just a short battle that you have to win with your mind. Soon it will feel like something you needed to do all your life, soon you will just do...
Then you become an artist. You paint, you paint the picture you have imagined in your mind. Don't be afraid, paint whatever picture you visioned, regardless of how big it is. Everything is possible... There is no limit, the only limit is in your head. Using small brush strokes, you paint the big picture. It is all in the small brush strokes. Tiny steps forward... Start with one or two simple ones, and go from there. Build your world from the bottom, constantly adding new things and new challenges. You don't have to add new things and challenges, but you will...
The more you paint, your motivation to change will grow. It will all become natural, you will not feel like you need to do new things, accomplish new goals. You will just do and accomplish them. You will become the picture, and the picture will become you.... The "bottom" you once felt will not be visible anymore, even if you turn back and look for it...

11:00 PM

Tired before the class, not sure how am I going to get through this one... Hour and half later, walking out of the studio ready to sprint down the street. It happens every time, never fails. And every time it feels great, it feels liberating... Full lungs...