Day 53

10:00 AM

Sometimes I wonder why is it that we always wish to have a good day. We say it to each other, our emails, voice mails, all end with the 'have a good day'. Why...? Why would you always want to have a good day, it is perfectly fine to have some bad days too. Bad days are actually more valuable than good days. A good day, of course, feels better, but a bad day has more value. It sounds weird, but actually a bad day helps you more. Naturally, it only helps if you are able to see the truth in it, the real reason behind it, and if you are able to experience it fully. If not, it can ruin your life...
Bad day wakes you up. When our ego takes control, and we fall asleep while fully awake, a day like that shakes our entire being. We quickly realize who we really are, and how far we are from our destination. We realize how hard we actually have to work in order to have the privilege of the constant good days. It really is like a wake up call... We need those bad days...
In reality, we couldn't even have a good day if it wasn't for the bad one. We wouldn't have nothing to compare it to, and then label it as a good or bad. On top of it, a really bad day, a day where everything goes wrong, makes the next day the best ever. Even if the next day is just average, having that terrible day before, makes it wonderful. You are aware of how bad it was the day before, you remember the ugly taste in your mouth, and your focus is through the roof in order to make today better. That is all it takes, the right intention and focus. Once your intention is right, everything else falls in place. Right intention will then bring the right view, right view will bring right speech, right speech - right mindfulness... Before you know it you are walking the eightfold path... Ending your suffering...

2:00 PM

Now thats how you breathe!!! A good class, again with the help of my terrible class from yesterday. Couldn't do it without my terrible friend. I walked into the yoga room determined to get the best out of me. All out effort inside and out. For the most part I did, and it was great, of course. Again, maybe it was an average class, but coming from the one I had yesterday, it was special. Breathing being the key, as always. It really changes the entire class, just the simple task of following your breath, However, it is the hardest thing to do for 90 minutes. Before you know it, the mind is somewhere else, and you find yourself following the thoughts instead of your breathing... Then you try again and you come back to the breath. Over and over, it never stops, always trying. 10,000 times...

11:00 PM

Bikram says that if you do 60 Bikram yoga classes in a row, your body will completely change. Well, I am on my 53rd day and I don't feel much different than I felt 53 days ago. The tricky part is that I don't remember how I felt two months ago. I don't remember what my practice looked like back then. Did my body change, did it open up...? Did my mental state change, did it open up...?

                            " Doooooooooont knooooooooooooow..."

I am that much different, that much improved as a being... A full "don't know" different... A full "don't know" improved...