Day 61

10:00 AM

In Zen Buddhism teachings, it is said that there are 4 different types of horses:

1. Excellent Ones
2. Good Ones
3. Poor Ones
4. Bad Ones

Excellent horse will run slow and fast, right and left, at the drivers will, before it sees the shadow of the whip...
The good horse will run as well as the excellent does, just before the whip reaches its skin...
The poor horse will run when it feels the pain on its body...
The bad horse will run after the pain penetrates to the marrow of its bones...

                                                              Shunryui Suzuki, Begginer's Mind


There it is... Thats us, humans... We all fit in one of those four categories, unfortunately most of us fall under the last two. Poor and bad horses... Both have to endure so much pain in order to learn how to run. Both have to suffer greatly, to realize their true nature and true meaning of life...
We just have to be hit hard in order to realize that the way we live is not life. Only a strong pain, the type of pain that penetrates to the marrow of our bones, will wake us up... The truth is that we don't even think about life on a deeper level, until the whip reaches our skin. We feel good, things are going good, who cares about the true self... Then the whip strikes and we realize the truth... We are on the bottom...
Why can't we embark on the path while feeling great, before the suffering starts...? Why something bad has to happen, in order for us to look in the mirror and decide to change...? Why...?
Simple... We are bad horses...


2:00 PM

When we hear this Zen story, automatically we want to be the excellent horse. If not the excellent one, than at least the good one.  This is the usual understanding of this story, and spiritual practice in general. We do it all to become excellent horses...
However, if you are on the spiritual path, it does not matter which horse are you. All the horses are good. If your practice is pure, you will find that the most valuable horse is the bad one. Your imperfections are actually perfect tools to find the way... Your struggle throughout the journey is the fuel that pushes you forward. Those who struggle greatly, will find a deeper meaning of the spiritual path. Those who have reached the bottom have a better chance of experiencing the truth self, just because they are at the bottom. Defeated. Open to everything... When everything is going well, we are not really open to new things, new practices. We don't want to change, why should we, its going well...
Sometimes the best horse can be the worse horse, and the bad horse can be the best one... In reality, there is no good or bad horses... There is only the path... The path, and the question: " Are you on it or not...?"


11:00 PM

Great class today... Focus, energy, effort... Breath...