Today is my lazy day. Other than my yoga class, I have nothing else to do. Just following my famous Dr Cartman daily routine: hour or two on the couch, another hour in the bedroom, back to the couch, eat, back to the couch... Total relaxation, Dr Cartman's way... I love the fact that my lazy day is on Monday. Monday is always a big day, a day when work starts, a day when all new resolutions start. It always: "Ok I am starting on Monday..." I was no different, I had many Monday's too. We are programed to function like that, start on Monday and end on Sunday. Society and our environment shaped us like that. Well forget that, I am turning a Monday into Sunday. I begin on Tuesday and end on Monday. What is Monday anyway...? Just a name, a name for a specific day. Does it have real significance...? Does time in general have real significance...? If you don't know what time it is, and what day it is can you still exist...? Of course you can. Time is just an illusion... There is no time. Only a moment exists, and then another moment. And another...
Dr Cartman never knows what time it is. No clue what day it is. Don't really care to be honest. All Dr Cartman does is breathe, eat, sleep, play, love, eat some more, sleep some more, breath, play, love... That's all... Then you ask me, excuse me Dr Cartman what time it is or what day it is...? Well let me tell you, listen carefully I will only say it once:
Anything else you need boss......
2:00 PM
What....? Was I supposed to blog now...? Well I can't, I am in a middle of a silent retreat....
Some of us actually meditate, you know....
11:00 PM
Weird class today. It was a late evening class, and my energy was high, I felt rested, ready to rumble. For some reason, I started to feel weird from the very beginning. It is hard to explain the feeling. Maybe it was ENLIGHTENMENT... Yeah right, whatever.... I wish... At first, it was a feeling that I am having a terrible class. Effort not there, balance is off, the monkey is in full swing. A few postures later I realized that I am not doing bad at all. My energy was really high and I was doing the postures without much effort. I just wasn't as tired as I normally am half way through the class. Then I thought that the teacher is not that hard on us. All these thoughts were intertwined in one big thought. What was the big thought...? I don't have a clue... It was there and it wasn't there, at the same time... Once we got to the floor, this strange state continued. I started feeling really focused, like the same focus one has thinking of something really hard, and staring at one spot on the wall. I found myself staring too, but I wasn't thinking about anything. It was like a dumb stare, nothing in the head stare. I felt good inside, my energy flowing freely... I felt like I wasn't present in the room, but I wasn't absent either. Lying on the stomach and resting between postures, I started noticing some things that I never noticed before. My yoga mat is actually really thin... The floor is really hard.... My cheek bone was hurting a little bit from the floor... I could feel my eyes blinking.... Interesting feeling... After a minute or two, I was back in the old swing. Monkey turned on the dance floor lights and started his routine... My mind was like: " Come on boss, that feeling is such a cliche, you can read it in every zen book you pick up. Get real you didn't feel s*it... I was just messing with you...."
I still know what I felt.... Cliche or not....
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