Pages

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Day 17

10:00 AM

Hurricane is blowing full speed now. My mind is using one of his strongest weapons to get back in full control. Fatigue... Right now, typing on my computer, I feel tired... Really tired... While at home, before going to yoga studio, I am in balance. Energy is there, and my motivation to go to class is never in question. Once the class starts, the fatigue sets in. Posture after posture I feel more tired, feeling my energy levels descending. The last few postures I really have to push myself to keep the focus and effort. Following the class, I feel tired for about an hour or two. Then, I channel my energy, and push strong through the day....
The truth is I am not that tired at all. Of course, I am tired from the yoga classes, and the workouts. However, that's a good fatigue. One should welcome that type of fatigue. Your body is just telling you that it is tired, but can't wait to get more of it. This is the "I am taking on the world" fatigue....
What I am feeling right now is more mental fatigue. My mind can't handle the present moment, the fact that there is no change. The fact that every day starts with the same thing.  Same 26 postures. Absolute boredom... The easiest way for the mind to trick us into quiting something is to make us feel extremely tired, so we just can't do it. Our mind has that power.  The same power it has to make us sick, or more sick than what we actually are. Under the influence of our mind, we tend to slow down a bit, and get into that attitude "maybe I should take it easy here and make a break..." The minute you do that, you have the collar around your neck, and your mind is walking you... You are a puppy, not the master....


2:00 PM

Well that had to happen too... Today was my worst yoga class since I started this journey. I came to class with a crook in my neck, and that was enough to ruin half of my postures. I couldn't get my arms up as usual, I couldn't bend over as usual, my focus was terrible. My mind won this one, I have to admit. Yes, my neck was in pain, but my focus should have been better, instead I just gave up on the postures that were painful. I allowed the mind to lead my practice, so my energy was directed more to the pain in my neck than to practice itself. I wasn't really upset about it, I realized that I lost this one, and moved on. You can't win all the time, but you can learn from every loss that you encounter in your life. All those negative moments that you experience, you need to cherish and embrace, with full arms. The same way you embrace something positive. Love it.... It sounds weird to love the negative moments, but if you want to evolve you need to love it....  Hold those negative moments like a mother holding her newborn baby. They are exactly what you need. Exactly what you need, no matter how painful they are. Otherwise, they wouldn't be happening. You need them to learn, to grow, and to become.... Give those negative moments a big hug, because they are just moments... In reality they are neutral, not really negative nor positive... Neutral... Our reaction to a given moment is what makes it negative or positive... We choose how to react, and then according to our choice, we either suffer or enjoy.... We smile or cry... We don't like to cry all that much. So choose to smile... Love whatever comes your way.....


11:00 PM

17 days of yoga in a row... I still can't quite believe that I am doing this. And I have 83 more to go... I have to  talk to the teacher who got me into this.  Its all her fault. She was the one that planted the idea in my head.... She did say 60 days of yoga, but I transformed it into a 100. My mind is going to blame, and hate her, for the next 83 days. My true self will love her for it....

1 comment:

  1. The teacher that got you into this did a really good thing. Keep FOCUSED! The journey will be worth it. This journey no matter where it takes you was meant for you.

    ReplyDelete